jacaylsdcbhsdhk-deactivated2020:

take this quiz to see what kind of lover you are

cemeterything:

cemeterything:

the first people to ever use terms of endearment for each other must have been so in love i’m in tears just thinking about it

can you imagine living in the 14th century and hearing your lover enter the house and call out “honey, i’m home!” and then realizing that they’re talking to you, and that they’re calling you “honey” because they think you’re sweet like honey… oh my god. ooooh my god

underfanworld:

crys-at-acorns:

acefandom103:

amaronith:

battlships:

ripstikkid:

brunhiddensmusings:

spontaneousmusicalnumber:

dimetrodone:

ratcoded:

who else is in the “didn’t realize sheep have long tails until i was like 20″ club

Undocked unrestrained

The reason most farmers dock (cut off) the tails is to prevent fly strike, an often lethal infection of fly larvae in the rear of the sheep. Without a (VERY FLUFFY) tail for fecal matter to accumulate on, fly strike is almost completely eliminated!

there is a wide variety of similar treatments for farm animals that are entirely for the animals well being

pigs get their tail curled and tusks removed as babies so they dont accidentally nip each other while playing or stab each other just walking around- even a small tail nip might be fatal once the other pigs react to the scent of blood

goats/cows often have their horns removed as babies as well both for obvious reasons to prevent stabbings but also to prevent them from growing in weird that can cause pain and infection for the animal

chickens and other poultry, especially pet ones or hobby farms, might have their flight feathers clipped to prevent them from flying over fences, where their life expectancy is nill outside the farm/owners enclosure

Very good and valid points but please tell me what you mean by “might be fatal once the other pigs react to the scent of blood” before I lose my marbles

Pigs are omnivores and cannibals. Fun fact if you ever have need to dispose of a body, tossing it in a pigpen will get rid of it real fast.

There’s a reason why everyone went into a full blown panic when Dorothy fell into the pigpen in the Wizard of Oz. Pigs are vicious.

slavetomyheadcanon:

vampireapologist:

ramenuzumaki:

THIS IS A MASTERPIECE HAHAHAHAHA

(Via @jazephua *twitter)

WHEN HES GETTING THR FUCKING PIGG BACK RIDE

This might be the best thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.

insomniac-arrest:

sea-salted-wolverine:

insomniac-arrest:

Pros:

1. One of the most efficient gaits of the animal kingdom
2. Can carry and use tools while walking
3. Less area for sun exposure back in Africa (top of the head vs whole back)
4. Can carry our young since their stupid tiny hands can’t cling to us anymore like proper primates
5. Taller: see predators coming, pick fruit from trees, give better high-fives
6. Look scarier to other animals

Cons:

1. Back hurty
2. BIRTH HURTY x100
3. Knees: “I didn’t sign up for this.”
4. Heart: “I didn’t sign up for this.”
1. our circulatory system has to work so hard bro
5. Big tiger can see us better
6. Did I mention how much birth hurts bc of our stupid upright hips? Seriously, commonly dying in childbirth isn’t an evolutionary benefit smh

Anyway, I would like to hold a re-vote on walking upright, who’s game? 

unintended side effect: no tail so our heads got bigger to counter balance and keep us from constantly falling over. enormous skull now full of brain

benefit of brain - made friends with wolves
problem with brain - v. fragile and invented capitalism

brain so fragile, meat so huge :(

toflowerorfeast:

the 70s was an incredibly horny decade, largely due to the music of its day. if you’ve ever heard queen abba or electric light orchestra you’ll understand why the youth were balls to the wall and wore hideous clothing not only without shame but with hubris. in this essay i will

snakewife:

• distinct sense of fashion (not necessarily good, but. distinct.)
• has almost died, like, twice, but it’s a really funny story–
  
• absolutely should not be in charge
• absolutely does not WANT to be in charge
• you’re pretty sure they’re into some weird stuff
  
• wants to help you out when you’re sad???
• may not be equipped to help you out and will fret if that is the case
• absolutely terrible OR top-notch taste in alcohol, no inbetween
• you’ve never seen more impressive shoes 

If you know someone who exudes a powerful Danny DeVito energy despite being a lesbian in her twenties, or if you know someone whose wardrobe choices would not look out of place on Jeff Goldblum, well, you got yourself an Uncle Friend, friend